Guys are like stock portfolios... you gotta diversify to mitigate risk!

hahaha... I came up with that during lunch today when i was with some co-workers. We were discussing my crazy love life and how I am currently dating "like a man." I don't know if thats the right way to describe it... maybe dating with my brain instead of my heart or simply enjoying singledom. My mother always warned me to never put all my eggs in one basket and I believe that is very important. Just cause someone seems perfect for you doesn't mean they are.

I also think it's really important to date different kinds of people. The more people you date the more you learn about yourself and about the type of person you want to date. In your 20's this is really important. We are just beginning to figure out who we are as adults... you can't just lock view to one certain way.

Its a lovely rainy night in New York and great for reflection. I just got out of the writing class I am taking and am even more inspired to keep working on this blog. Life is just going fabulously. I am so accustomed to city life and I wouldn't have it any other way. To anyone who's thinking of moving... DO IT! Your only young once!

Bad, bad girl!

So its about time for a confession...

About a month ago I went out with some of my new restaurant friends... got drunk with them... and ended up waking up with one of them in morning! Ughhh! I was so mad at myself! The very thought of it made me shutter. He's in his freaking 30's for freaking sake!!! Of course this just happened to be a day after I had two wonderful dates with Mr.London. On one hand I feel a little bad... but really I don't. Mr. London and I are not exclusive and these kind of things happen when your single. Especially when your newly single and still excited about it. Of course this little "opps" if you will has now happened more than once...twice....and.... I talk to him nearly everyday. Its nothing serious... and nor do I want it to be. It's just a nice little distraction for a single gal. Besides hes very interesting and someone I would be a lot more interested in if he was ten years younger and a bit taller. I know age shouldn't be such a big deal... but for me it is. Also the fact that we work together. Ev

en though I don't see him all that often, it's really just a no-no. So now we are playing the hiding game and not telling anyone of our secret. It's weird and to me feels shady. I just think it would be alot easier to date someone else... like Mr. London!

Its weird... Mr. London and Cody (my coworker "friend") are complete opposites. They both intrigue me in different ways. Mr. London is classy, funny, generally a nice guy and such a gentleman. Cody is different, interesting, liberal, and we have a lot in common. Cody is very upfront with his feelings toward me and Mr. London is more reserved.

I'd say whats a girls to do... but if it ain't broke don't fix it! I'm gonna have my cake and EAT IT TOO!!! Finally!

Four months down... & a lifetime to go!

I have been neglecting to write in this blog for an unforgivable amount of time, but I'm going to try and change that.

Life these past two months have had their ups and down but mostly its been ups. My full-time job is going well. I'm really getting the hang of that ways of company and am taking on more responsibilities nearly every week. Although it does kind of upset me that people think I'm stupid because of my lowly position, I do enjoy when I suprise people with the skills I do possess.

I am still seeing Mr. London... can you believe it?!
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I got a second job at a trendy restaurant in the west village. I enjoy it alot but it's hard to be working 7 days week.

Actually a week ago one of the most ridiculous things happened to me. It was the sunday before labor day and I was working a double. I had gotten there at 10:45 and was supposed to get out at 9:00. The night before this Mr. London and I had gone on a fabulous date and he had spent the night at my place. We both took the subway to 14th. I walked to work and he went shopping. Now back to sunday night... So here I am it's 9:30 and I was anxiously awaiting the restaurant to start to slow down so I could get out and head over to a friends house. As I'm watching the minutes slowly tick by I notice a stretch limo outside. In my head I was saying "F*ck..f*ck.. do not come in here I want to go home F*ck!!!!!" I see two girls get out and I think to myself "ehhh tacky dresses they must be from new jersey." (The west village is filled with fashionistas... you can tell those who don't belong) When all the sudden I see Mr.London climb out. Here is where I really lose it "OMG OMg omg omg omg... is he on a date?! omg omg!!!" and "OMG what is he doing here?! Really here out of all the millions of restaurants in NY?!" Since there was no place to hide I decided to look intently onto the computer screen to avoid eye contact. Mr. London comes right up to the hostess stand and say hi. I go to him "this is akward" clearly thinking he is on a date. (the night before this on our date we chatted about what we are and where we are going... decided we were going to take it as it comes... meaning we can see other ppl) He replies "when you get a minute stop by the table and I'll introduce you to everyone." So I being the mature person I am... tell the other hostess my dilemma, have around 5 mini meltdowns, and do three walk bys before gathering the nerve to actually go over. So I head over with my head high and in my super cute cynthia vincent white dress. I wasn't going to let these wealthier, older people get the best of me. So what I am hostessing, so what I am only a receptionist. I'm 23 hotter than you and going to get there... prob when I'm around your age. (I have to say these things to pump me up haha) I walk up and get introduced to the eight plus group. As he introduces me he wraps his arm around my waist. SUCCESS! I go over and talk a few more times before I was finally set free. Then I said my goodbyes and he walked me out.

And I thought New york was a big city?!

In a New York minute...

It's funny how things turn out.  How when you plan something but never take into account the reaction that may occur.  Like Newton's famous third law... for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.   When I left upstate things were great; my friends threw me a kick-ass going away party, my ex-boyfriend and I still talked everyday, and everyone generally was happy with my plans to move to NY.  

A month and a half later...

My friends all hate me, my ex and I stopped talking several weeks ago, and i pretty much feel forgotten about.  My so-called friends have "ganged-up" on me in order to further solidify their own friendships.  It's interesting how that happens with female relationships.  Since I wasn't around to defend myself they were able to collectively decide I was some terrible person from something completely stupid, mundane and downright irrelevant.  Something that if given a chance to defend myself would truly be a non-issue.  I am so glad they afforded me that luxury.........(sarcasm) 

The no talking to the ex thing I think is still a step in the right direction.  Though tonight as I chatted with my mother on the phone I learned that he was over at my parents helping them open their pool.  Ummmm..... WTF?!  Yea I realize that he was like a family member... and that he agreed to it before we broke up.... but really?!  noo really?!  I never wanted to call him so badly.  I just wanted to call him up and be like.."so you helped out and had a bbq with my parents...how'd that go?!"  But the truth in the matter is that talking to him will make me think of him more, thinking of him more will make me miss him more, and missing him more will just totally defeat the purpose!  Yes I know I rant and rave about him often but I everyday I think of him less and am happy with myself more.

Things can truly change in a New York minute.... perhaps even your entire life.

On a better and more fun note.....

I am still making more and more new friends.  I am always out and about the city with my girls or boys.  Going out clubbing, bar-hopping, and even attending free speech rallies in Union Square.  And I am still dating Mr. London... last week... we had the most amazing date at a carnival in Central Park!  It was a work function for him so it was open bar everything and I met many of his co-workers.  

Although my life upstate is shaky.... in a NY minute I have found new things to fill the void. 

...And I still haven't regretted moving... not even for minute

Out with the Old...and in with the NEW!!!!

I have been doing a lot of self reflection lately. Thinking about my "old" life upstate and my "new" life here. Living here I can already see changes in myself that are different from the "old" me. Living in New York you begin to become a "bitchier" person. Or at least I am. Upstate I would never do some of the things I do now i.e. walking past and rolling my eyes at slow walkers, ignore someone who is saying hi to me, and other new yorker tendencies. Not only are these tendencies though... they are the armour that anyone who lives in a big city must wear. You can't go around walking like you don't know where your going then instantly become a target. You also can't go around responding to every comment made at you. By responding you are letting them in and once that happens it's really hard to get them out.... so to speak.

How do you begin to heal a broken heart???

How can you begin to get over someone when they are in every memory you have of the past three years? I know there is the standard..."in order to get over him you need to get under someone else." I agree that helps... but i'm not sure if it's entirely true. I have officially been in New York for a month (yayyy!) but there hasn't been one day where I have gone w/o thinking about my ex. Random things bring him to my mind on a daily basis. He put together the lamp in my room, moved my things to nyc, is in all of my pictures...etc. They say time heals all wounds and I definitely believe that is true. As the days go by I have been becoming more at peace with the situation, though there is still this urge in the back of my mind to call him. Now I haven't spoken to him in nearly 4 weeks... will i ever be able to call him again? Do we continue this no talking charade so it makes it easier for us to move on with our lives? Or do I call and find out whats going on in his life? Quite frankly I am scared to hear about what is going on in his life. I don't want to hear about him going on dates, going out and meeting girls. It would just break my heart. At the same time... I have been going on dates, going out, and meeting guys quite a bit.

He was my best friend, lover, and side kick for three years... how do you bounce back from that?

Sorry about my lack of writing and extreme tangents... I just need some guidance!!!

I came, I saw, I conquered?

Haha not quite but conquering this city is definitely my next challenge!

As always I'm a week behind on my blogging... SHAME ON ME! But atleast I have been fortunate to be busy enough that I am not spending all my time whining about doing nothing on this blog.

To catch-up Mr. London is back... sort of. Apparently he likes when I play hard to get. He has been calling me and I haven't been answering. It's extremely hard to do...but the results? SO worth it! We are going on date tomorrow and I am definitely looking forward to it. At the same time I am also a bit worrisome. I still don't understand what his problem was from last week. How do you go from calling a person on a semi-regular basis and making plans with them to nothing at all. It really bothers me, not that I will ever tell him that. My thoughts on this are that I should be his priority not his option. I'm not sure he can handle that...but I guess we'll see. I'm not just going to sit around and wait for him... thats for damn sure!

Besides Mr. London things have been going great. I have been hanging out a lot with my friend Lily. (lily and I are both from the same area and our ex's are friends) On monday night we drank a bottle of wine and headed to our favorite place West(the place with the coconut shell drinks). There we met the HOTTEST guy! We were hanging by the juke box and struck up a convo. At first Lily thought he was into me but then a little while later I thought he was into her. We all played a game of pool together and then we were all confused. Lily and I have a policy- You can't help who a person likes so if he likes you... good for you, I'll find someone else. I love girls who share a mature mindset, like I try to have myself. Later that night we decided to go to Lily's to "light the mind." Even with hanging out with the guy for an extended period of time we still couldn't figure out which one he liked more. Eventually we gave up and told him we were tired so he'd leave. Kinda disappointing...but oh well.

Wednesday was my first day on the job. The atmosphere is great! High-paced, exciting, and nice, friendly people. I work for a large marketing company as their receptionist. Definitely not my desired position...but you got to start somewhere and with a foot in the door at the #1 direct marketing firm in the nation I don't feel so bad. Kaitlyn, the girl who was the last receptionist was in charge of training me. We had such a great time at the desk and found out we were scarily alike.

To be continued...sorry its bed time!

You can't have it all... but you should certainly try!

I really am going to try to keep up with this blog. It's really hard for me to just write out my thoughts, fears, and feelings out there for just anyone to see.... but by the look of my profile views I assume I am the only one reading it so I should just go all out....

Last week was just too good to be true. Don't get me wrong this week was pretty wonderful too it just always seems like everything can't be great at once. I started my new job, made new friends, hung out with old friends, and overall had a pretty exciting week...in all areas but ONE. Mr. London of course. I'm not that type of girl that will chase a guy. I have learned from dating in the past that if a guy is really into you nothing can stop him from getting a hold of you. I talked to Mr. London on sunday while I was on my way upstate and he was just getting back to Jersey. We chatted for about 2 min and then he had to go and he said he'd call me back. Hmm... so I'm thinking later as in.... later today?! Guess I was mistaken.

Being back upstate was very odd. I already felt pretty disconnected with things and it had only been a week and a half. I headed to my old apt to finish clearing out my things. It was weird to be in a place that I had lived in the past 11 months and not have my things there. I ran into Rebounder and he helped me move my things to my car. Although I have never explicitly mentioned Rebounder... he was my regrettable drunken behavior I previously mentioned. Haha. Everyone needs a rebound! Of course most people wait a few months, weeks, days...etc. Apparently I don't...opps! Rebounder texted me and wanted to engage in a Round 2.... I was just not ready. Especially since I had just been with Mr. London that morning.

This is a tangent... but it is really comical to me that I go from being the ultimate girlfriend to having three boys in my life at the same time. Though it has helped me heal from my past relationship and look forward to my dating future. I told my ex-boyfriend my first wednesday here that we could no longer talk. My friends tell me I don't have to be this strong... but I know me.. and yes I do. If I continued to talk to him I would never have the space I needed to heal.

The BEST week EVER!!!

I can barely put into words the week I had last week. Yes I know.. it's wednesday and I am writing about last week. It has just been a whirlwind of emotions and I haven't had the time to put it in the blogosphere.

So here we go... My first full week in New York and also the best week of my life.

You know how sometimes there's a point in your life where things just go smoothly you can't remember the times that were rough? Things in my life went so smoothly last week I felt I was in an R-rated Disney movie. It was just so unreal.... and obviously was.

Last week kicked off with a bang... my old friend from college Kayla and some of her friends and I went out on the town to celebrate cinco de mayo. It was really exciting since it was the first time I had went out since the the thursday I met Mr. London. We headed to the West Village and met up with a friend I know through our ex boyfriends who are friends.... weird right?! The West Village is amazing! Cute streets and awesome nightlife. You almost forget your in Manhattan! After grabbing some dinner and downing some delicious margaritas we were off to our next bar. We headed west toward the Hudson river and found the cutest bar with an aquatic theme. Our drinks came in coconut shells!!! The night was such a blast and it was great to be with old friends in a new city. It made the city feel more like home.

On tuesday I had my first call back for a second interview. I was thrilled! This was my chance to prove to them that they needed me as much as I needed them. On the interview I met with people in the creative department. Since I have such a strong interest in copy writing I was told that I could be given some copy write duties if I got the position. If that wasn't enough I had two interviews on wednesday to add to my excitement. Both of the interviews were at magazines and I would play a marketing assistant role. The interviews went well and I really felt confident in the skills I could offer to the companies. Although I did nothing interesting on Tuesday night, I did have a rather interesting phone call. Mr. London drunk dialed me and went on and on about how beautiful, smart, and cool I am. We talked for a little less than an hour and the conversation stayed on the same course.

Wednesday night was Mr. London time. I met him on 3rd ave and we headed to a trendy mexican restaurant called Dos Caminos. It was really great to see him again. Our meal was lovely and delicious. He certainly knows how to make a girl laugh... which he claimed it was his job#1 to make me smile. Which was really sweet. When we got done at restaurant we decided to check out his town in Jersey. A make out session, some groping and forty-five dollars later we were there. In lieu of catching a drink we decided to rent a move instead. We popped some wine and flopped down onto the futon on his room. Ten minutes later we were making out.... twenty minutes later he was stroking my legs... thirty minutes later we were on his bed full-on making out. It was really hot. He is an incredibly good kisser and definitely knows how to use his hands. I really like a guy with confidence and I could tell Mr. London had it going on. And nooo nothing beyond that happened.... I'm a LADY!

Thirsty Thursday.... After my interview at HBO my friend Cameron came into town from Smalbany. She had an interview at Bumble and Bumble hair salon and after that we walked all over manhattan. It was really fun to have someone to explore with me during the day. It also helped me conceptualize where we we're located in relation to places I have been. That night we decided to hit up the "usual" (only cause we did it last thursday haha) bar in the Upper West Side. By the end of the evening Cameron had a job, an apt in the lower east side and new boy! I'm telling you... IF IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN IT WILL HAPPEN IN NEW YORK!!!!

TGIF! After spending the day shopping on SoHo with Cameron I had to send her off on the train home. Then it was back to reality. Mr. London wasnt going to be able to make it on the double date we tentatively planned and it was pouring buckets. All I could think about was Mr. London how badly I wanted him. It really began to consume my thoughts. One of my greatest friends from college, Kimber, came over to see the apt and to drink heavily. Luckily her bf dropped out of the date when he heard Mr. London was unavailable. So we really got the chance to catch up. After drinking nearly a bottle of wine we went off to the upper west side for some dinner. Of course by the time we were ready for dinner it was almost midnight! We ended up going to this small italian restaurant and for some reason decided to get a bottle of wine for the table. Ha hA I guess thats appropriate since she is my college buddy.

OooooOoooo La La Saturday! Saturday was FABULOUS from start to finish! My roommate and I headed to central park early to participate in Self Magazine's workout in the park. It was great fun! There were fitness classes of all kinds and plenty of cool giveaways. It was also a great chance for some roommate bonding. My roommate is a really great girl and I am so lucky to have found her and this fabulous apartment on roommates.com. Seriously though!

Date time! So after playing hard to get for a while I met up with Mr. London in the Upper West side to find a place for dinner. I was so looking forward to this date. I was wearing a cute pink dress that had flowers sewn on the upper right hand side. Sexy black pumps with black and white ribbon on the toe of the show. Bottom line- I looked gooooood! We went to this Italian place called Ceste' (probably butchering the spelling) it was dark, romantic, and very chic. We started the meal with a pricey$$$ bottle of wine and a few appetizers. It's really fun for me to experience this new kind of dining but I must admit its quite intimidating. I never know what I'm ordering or drinking and overall I feel a bit out of my league. I am really just a small town girl looking big-eyed upon this new kind of life. Also being a recent college grad I drink alcohol in two speeds....fast and faster. So when Mr. London asks "are you going to enjoy the wine?" I was a little taken back. Who says I'm not enjoying the wine just bc I drink it faster than you?! Haha I know wine enthusiasts would have my head.. but I really just didn't think about it. I'll have to keep that in mind haha. After dinner we headed to the Maritime Hotel for Mr. London's roommates girlfriend, Jo's birthday. The Maritime has a lovely outdoor patio and it was a perfect spot to catch a few drinks. Mr. London had claimed earlier he wanted me to come to this with him to "show me off." Whether that was some kind of line or something I am still not sure. After having a great time with his friends we were off to China 1 for my friend Anabelle's birthday. Her party was great lot's of people, drinks, and drunks! My kind of scene...lively, relatively inexpensive and fun! At the party Anabelle tells us "You know if something ends up happening between the two of you I feel partly responsible." I thought it was hilarious! Anabelle is certainly the reason I met him. We were all out to dinner and on her way home she ended up talking to the london boys and we all ended up going to another bar together.... and then I met Mr. London. Mr. London also laughed and agreed with Anabelle. After a drink Mr. London and I got dancing. He's such a dork and it made it hard for me not to laugh while we were dancing. You know when a guy has it or doesn't and poor Mr. London is not a dancer... but hey at least he tried! The night ended with Mr. London heading uptown with me to my apartment. We had a great time... but I'm not going to kiss and tell ;)

It's up to you.... New York... NY!!!!!

The past few days have been nothing short of amazing. So amazing I haven't had the time to write it down.

Sunday was awesome. I met up with Mr.London on 5th avenue early in the afternoon. We went to a French Bistro called Rue 47. Since there was a bit of wait we decided to have a drink first at the bar. I had a delicious mimosa while we had some fancy wine. I later found out he was a wine snob. When the table was ready we were escorted to a table surrounded by beautiful flowering trees. Mr. London ordered two appetizers at the waiters discretion both of which were really good. By the time our main course arrived we were both rather full.

From there we attempted to get a drink at the Penninsula Hotel. Apparently the bar at the top has a gorgeous view of Central Park. Unfortunately it was closed for renovations. So then we walked to Starbucks to get caffeinated. Mr. London had a bag in his hand and since we were next door to his office he decided to drop it off. So we get inside his building and get right into the elevator. Inside the elevator he walked over to me put his arms around my waist and kissed me all 17 floors until we reached his office. It was all very romantic. Once we were back on the streets of New York we decided to take a stroll in Central Park. We walked all over and then sat a bench and talked for hours. It was a perfect day and a perfect date!

So now what?!

So I am HERE! I have made it.....now what?

I have had one of the craziest weeks of my life. I have broken up with my boyfriend of nearly three years, quit my first job out of college, and have engaged in some regrettable drunken behavior. May 1 marked the beginning of my lease and I came down promptly after my last day on the job. My two best friends came along to help me bring a car load of my belongings. As soon as we unpacked the car we poured a large glass of wine and started making plans for the nights activities. We decided to hit up the Free Wine Chinese place in the Upper West side. Based on the nick-name of the restaurant I'm sure you can gather how this place is so popular. From the moment you step in the door you are handed a glass of wine that will not go more than half down before you receive a refill. It is a poor young persons dream!

Also at the restaurant was a table of boys from England. Naturally we started talking with them... which turned into drinking with them.... which turned into sloppy drunken evening. I even met a boy I may be going on a date with.

It was certainly a great way to set the tone for my first night in NY.

Ughhhhh--Jobless and perhaps mindless

I only have six more days left of employment and then I will be JOBLESS! It's scary!

I'm moving in little over a week and I haven't really broad-casted the news because every time I tell someone they are like "omg you dont have a job?! NYC is expensive!" I feel like replying "OH really?! I had no idea!" or "YES I am petrified of not having a job and your panic is only making me feel worse... so BACK OFF!" haha Okay really that only happens when I've told family and family friends but still... I get it! I promise you I GET IT!

So PANIC MODE: ON

Luckily I'm heading down to the city tomorrow and bringing a load of stuff down, chillin with my new roomie and then I have an interview and coffee meeting on friday.

Hopefully I get a job ASAP--- Wish me luck :)

What if???

Okay... so technically I'm not your typical "country hick" I've never been 4-wheeling with friends, cow tipping, or worn Carhartt but I grew up across the street from horses and down the street from a few farms. So although I've never really participated in rural town activities I was surely born and raised in the heart of one.

I hail from upstate New York about 30 minutes outside of Albany. Albany or SMALLbany as my friends and I call it is a great city but its just too damn small!!! I graduated last May from college and have started to think about life and and what I'm going to do with mine.

Ever since I was a young girl I have always dreamed of living in NYC. Yea, yea like most everyone thinks at some point in their life. And then I got thinking what if i moved? What if i didn't, would I regret it? Life is too short to live with an "What if"... So in two short weeks I will be a resident of Manhattan.