In a New York minute...

It's funny how things turn out.  How when you plan something but never take into account the reaction that may occur.  Like Newton's famous third law... for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.   When I left upstate things were great; my friends threw me a kick-ass going away party, my ex-boyfriend and I still talked everyday, and everyone generally was happy with my plans to move to NY.  

A month and a half later...

My friends all hate me, my ex and I stopped talking several weeks ago, and i pretty much feel forgotten about.  My so-called friends have "ganged-up" on me in order to further solidify their own friendships.  It's interesting how that happens with female relationships.  Since I wasn't around to defend myself they were able to collectively decide I was some terrible person from something completely stupid, mundane and downright irrelevant.  Something that if given a chance to defend myself would truly be a non-issue.  I am so glad they afforded me that luxury.........(sarcasm) 

The no talking to the ex thing I think is still a step in the right direction.  Though tonight as I chatted with my mother on the phone I learned that he was over at my parents helping them open their pool.  Ummmm..... WTF?!  Yea I realize that he was like a family member... and that he agreed to it before we broke up.... but really?!  noo really?!  I never wanted to call him so badly.  I just wanted to call him up and be like.."so you helped out and had a bbq with my parents...how'd that go?!"  But the truth in the matter is that talking to him will make me think of him more, thinking of him more will make me miss him more, and missing him more will just totally defeat the purpose!  Yes I know I rant and rave about him often but I everyday I think of him less and am happy with myself more.

Things can truly change in a New York minute.... perhaps even your entire life.

On a better and more fun note.....

I am still making more and more new friends.  I am always out and about the city with my girls or boys.  Going out clubbing, bar-hopping, and even attending free speech rallies in Union Square.  And I am still dating Mr. London... last week... we had the most amazing date at a carnival in Central Park!  It was a work function for him so it was open bar everything and I met many of his co-workers.  

Although my life upstate is shaky.... in a NY minute I have found new things to fill the void. 

...And I still haven't regretted moving... not even for minute

Out with the Old...and in with the NEW!!!!

I have been doing a lot of self reflection lately. Thinking about my "old" life upstate and my "new" life here. Living here I can already see changes in myself that are different from the "old" me. Living in New York you begin to become a "bitchier" person. Or at least I am. Upstate I would never do some of the things I do now i.e. walking past and rolling my eyes at slow walkers, ignore someone who is saying hi to me, and other new yorker tendencies. Not only are these tendencies though... they are the armour that anyone who lives in a big city must wear. You can't go around walking like you don't know where your going then instantly become a target. You also can't go around responding to every comment made at you. By responding you are letting them in and once that happens it's really hard to get them out.... so to speak.

How do you begin to heal a broken heart???

How can you begin to get over someone when they are in every memory you have of the past three years? I know there is the standard..."in order to get over him you need to get under someone else." I agree that helps... but i'm not sure if it's entirely true. I have officially been in New York for a month (yayyy!) but there hasn't been one day where I have gone w/o thinking about my ex. Random things bring him to my mind on a daily basis. He put together the lamp in my room, moved my things to nyc, is in all of my pictures...etc. They say time heals all wounds and I definitely believe that is true. As the days go by I have been becoming more at peace with the situation, though there is still this urge in the back of my mind to call him. Now I haven't spoken to him in nearly 4 weeks... will i ever be able to call him again? Do we continue this no talking charade so it makes it easier for us to move on with our lives? Or do I call and find out whats going on in his life? Quite frankly I am scared to hear about what is going on in his life. I don't want to hear about him going on dates, going out and meeting girls. It would just break my heart. At the same time... I have been going on dates, going out, and meeting guys quite a bit.

He was my best friend, lover, and side kick for three years... how do you bounce back from that?

Sorry about my lack of writing and extreme tangents... I just need some guidance!!!