Guys are like stock portfolios... you gotta diversify to mitigate risk!

hahaha... I came up with that during lunch today when i was with some co-workers. We were discussing my crazy love life and how I am currently dating "like a man." I don't know if thats the right way to describe it... maybe dating with my brain instead of my heart or simply enjoying singledom. My mother always warned me to never put all my eggs in one basket and I believe that is very important. Just cause someone seems perfect for you doesn't mean they are.

I also think it's really important to date different kinds of people. The more people you date the more you learn about yourself and about the type of person you want to date. In your 20's this is really important. We are just beginning to figure out who we are as adults... you can't just lock view to one certain way.

Its a lovely rainy night in New York and great for reflection. I just got out of the writing class I am taking and am even more inspired to keep working on this blog. Life is just going fabulously. I am so accustomed to city life and I wouldn't have it any other way. To anyone who's thinking of moving... DO IT! Your only young once!

Bad, bad girl!

So its about time for a confession...

About a month ago I went out with some of my new restaurant friends... got drunk with them... and ended up waking up with one of them in morning! Ughhh! I was so mad at myself! The very thought of it made me shutter. He's in his freaking 30's for freaking sake!!! Of course this just happened to be a day after I had two wonderful dates with Mr.London. On one hand I feel a little bad... but really I don't. Mr. London and I are not exclusive and these kind of things happen when your single. Especially when your newly single and still excited about it. Of course this little "opps" if you will has now happened more than once...twice....and.... I talk to him nearly everyday. Its nothing serious... and nor do I want it to be. It's just a nice little distraction for a single gal. Besides hes very interesting and someone I would be a lot more interested in if he was ten years younger and a bit taller. I know age shouldn't be such a big deal... but for me it is. Also the fact that we work together. Ev

en though I don't see him all that often, it's really just a no-no. So now we are playing the hiding game and not telling anyone of our secret. It's weird and to me feels shady. I just think it would be alot easier to date someone else... like Mr. London!

Its weird... Mr. London and Cody (my coworker "friend") are complete opposites. They both intrigue me in different ways. Mr. London is classy, funny, generally a nice guy and such a gentleman. Cody is different, interesting, liberal, and we have a lot in common. Cody is very upfront with his feelings toward me and Mr. London is more reserved.

I'd say whats a girls to do... but if it ain't broke don't fix it! I'm gonna have my cake and EAT IT TOO!!! Finally!

Four months down... & a lifetime to go!

I have been neglecting to write in this blog for an unforgivable amount of time, but I'm going to try and change that.

Life these past two months have had their ups and down but mostly its been ups. My full-time job is going well. I'm really getting the hang of that ways of company and am taking on more responsibilities nearly every week. Although it does kind of upset me that people think I'm stupid because of my lowly position, I do enjoy when I suprise people with the skills I do possess.

I am still seeing Mr. London... can you believe it?!
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I got a second job at a trendy restaurant in the west village. I enjoy it alot but it's hard to be working 7 days week.

Actually a week ago one of the most ridiculous things happened to me. It was the sunday before labor day and I was working a double. I had gotten there at 10:45 and was supposed to get out at 9:00. The night before this Mr. London and I had gone on a fabulous date and he had spent the night at my place. We both took the subway to 14th. I walked to work and he went shopping. Now back to sunday night... So here I am it's 9:30 and I was anxiously awaiting the restaurant to start to slow down so I could get out and head over to a friends house. As I'm watching the minutes slowly tick by I notice a stretch limo outside. In my head I was saying "F*ck..f*ck.. do not come in here I want to go home F*ck!!!!!" I see two girls get out and I think to myself "ehhh tacky dresses they must be from new jersey." (The west village is filled with fashionistas... you can tell those who don't belong) When all the sudden I see Mr.London climb out. Here is where I really lose it "OMG OMg omg omg omg... is he on a date?! omg omg!!!" and "OMG what is he doing here?! Really here out of all the millions of restaurants in NY?!" Since there was no place to hide I decided to look intently onto the computer screen to avoid eye contact. Mr. London comes right up to the hostess stand and say hi. I go to him "this is akward" clearly thinking he is on a date. (the night before this on our date we chatted about what we are and where we are going... decided we were going to take it as it comes... meaning we can see other ppl) He replies "when you get a minute stop by the table and I'll introduce you to everyone." So I being the mature person I am... tell the other hostess my dilemma, have around 5 mini meltdowns, and do three walk bys before gathering the nerve to actually go over. So I head over with my head high and in my super cute cynthia vincent white dress. I wasn't going to let these wealthier, older people get the best of me. So what I am hostessing, so what I am only a receptionist. I'm 23 hotter than you and going to get there... prob when I'm around your age. (I have to say these things to pump me up haha) I walk up and get introduced to the eight plus group. As he introduces me he wraps his arm around my waist. SUCCESS! I go over and talk a few more times before I was finally set free. Then I said my goodbyes and he walked me out.

And I thought New york was a big city?!

In a New York minute...

It's funny how things turn out.  How when you plan something but never take into account the reaction that may occur.  Like Newton's famous third law... for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.   When I left upstate things were great; my friends threw me a kick-ass going away party, my ex-boyfriend and I still talked everyday, and everyone generally was happy with my plans to move to NY.  

A month and a half later...

My friends all hate me, my ex and I stopped talking several weeks ago, and i pretty much feel forgotten about.  My so-called friends have "ganged-up" on me in order to further solidify their own friendships.  It's interesting how that happens with female relationships.  Since I wasn't around to defend myself they were able to collectively decide I was some terrible person from something completely stupid, mundane and downright irrelevant.  Something that if given a chance to defend myself would truly be a non-issue.  I am so glad they afforded me that luxury.........(sarcasm) 

The no talking to the ex thing I think is still a step in the right direction.  Though tonight as I chatted with my mother on the phone I learned that he was over at my parents helping them open their pool.  Ummmm..... WTF?!  Yea I realize that he was like a family member... and that he agreed to it before we broke up.... but really?!  noo really?!  I never wanted to call him so badly.  I just wanted to call him up and be like.."so you helped out and had a bbq with my parents...how'd that go?!"  But the truth in the matter is that talking to him will make me think of him more, thinking of him more will make me miss him more, and missing him more will just totally defeat the purpose!  Yes I know I rant and rave about him often but I everyday I think of him less and am happy with myself more.

Things can truly change in a New York minute.... perhaps even your entire life.

On a better and more fun note.....

I am still making more and more new friends.  I am always out and about the city with my girls or boys.  Going out clubbing, bar-hopping, and even attending free speech rallies in Union Square.  And I am still dating Mr. London... last week... we had the most amazing date at a carnival in Central Park!  It was a work function for him so it was open bar everything and I met many of his co-workers.  

Although my life upstate is shaky.... in a NY minute I have found new things to fill the void. 

...And I still haven't regretted moving... not even for minute

Out with the Old...and in with the NEW!!!!

I have been doing a lot of self reflection lately. Thinking about my "old" life upstate and my "new" life here. Living here I can already see changes in myself that are different from the "old" me. Living in New York you begin to become a "bitchier" person. Or at least I am. Upstate I would never do some of the things I do now i.e. walking past and rolling my eyes at slow walkers, ignore someone who is saying hi to me, and other new yorker tendencies. Not only are these tendencies though... they are the armour that anyone who lives in a big city must wear. You can't go around walking like you don't know where your going then instantly become a target. You also can't go around responding to every comment made at you. By responding you are letting them in and once that happens it's really hard to get them out.... so to speak.

How do you begin to heal a broken heart???

How can you begin to get over someone when they are in every memory you have of the past three years? I know there is the standard..."in order to get over him you need to get under someone else." I agree that helps... but i'm not sure if it's entirely true. I have officially been in New York for a month (yayyy!) but there hasn't been one day where I have gone w/o thinking about my ex. Random things bring him to my mind on a daily basis. He put together the lamp in my room, moved my things to nyc, is in all of my pictures...etc. They say time heals all wounds and I definitely believe that is true. As the days go by I have been becoming more at peace with the situation, though there is still this urge in the back of my mind to call him. Now I haven't spoken to him in nearly 4 weeks... will i ever be able to call him again? Do we continue this no talking charade so it makes it easier for us to move on with our lives? Or do I call and find out whats going on in his life? Quite frankly I am scared to hear about what is going on in his life. I don't want to hear about him going on dates, going out and meeting girls. It would just break my heart. At the same time... I have been going on dates, going out, and meeting guys quite a bit.

He was my best friend, lover, and side kick for three years... how do you bounce back from that?

Sorry about my lack of writing and extreme tangents... I just need some guidance!!!

I came, I saw, I conquered?

Haha not quite but conquering this city is definitely my next challenge!

As always I'm a week behind on my blogging... SHAME ON ME! But atleast I have been fortunate to be busy enough that I am not spending all my time whining about doing nothing on this blog.

To catch-up Mr. London is back... sort of. Apparently he likes when I play hard to get. He has been calling me and I haven't been answering. It's extremely hard to do...but the results? SO worth it! We are going on date tomorrow and I am definitely looking forward to it. At the same time I am also a bit worrisome. I still don't understand what his problem was from last week. How do you go from calling a person on a semi-regular basis and making plans with them to nothing at all. It really bothers me, not that I will ever tell him that. My thoughts on this are that I should be his priority not his option. I'm not sure he can handle that...but I guess we'll see. I'm not just going to sit around and wait for him... thats for damn sure!

Besides Mr. London things have been going great. I have been hanging out a lot with my friend Lily. (lily and I are both from the same area and our ex's are friends) On monday night we drank a bottle of wine and headed to our favorite place West(the place with the coconut shell drinks). There we met the HOTTEST guy! We were hanging by the juke box and struck up a convo. At first Lily thought he was into me but then a little while later I thought he was into her. We all played a game of pool together and then we were all confused. Lily and I have a policy- You can't help who a person likes so if he likes you... good for you, I'll find someone else. I love girls who share a mature mindset, like I try to have myself. Later that night we decided to go to Lily's to "light the mind." Even with hanging out with the guy for an extended period of time we still couldn't figure out which one he liked more. Eventually we gave up and told him we were tired so he'd leave. Kinda disappointing...but oh well.

Wednesday was my first day on the job. The atmosphere is great! High-paced, exciting, and nice, friendly people. I work for a large marketing company as their receptionist. Definitely not my desired position...but you got to start somewhere and with a foot in the door at the #1 direct marketing firm in the nation I don't feel so bad. Kaitlyn, the girl who was the last receptionist was in charge of training me. We had such a great time at the desk and found out we were scarily alike.

To be continued...sorry its bed time!